#my fucking ex really just screwed everyone over hardcore and left me to clean up his mess just like he did many times before

[pasta5284]

feels like i lose (fail at least one person i love, if not multiple, in some way) no matter what i do. no matter how hard i work for a compromise or just try to act reasonably/rationally or whatever. even when the majority or even everyone says i'm doing the right thing, at least one of them ends up miserable/etc anyway. even when it's not my fault it becomes my fault somehow. ok. that's fine. i'll keep trying anyway. things are slowly getting better and they will continue to and i will keep trying until they are. it's not like everything is shambles there are just some unfortunate circumstances. i won't stop trying until everyone wins. even though sometimes i do just want to disappear forever

[my-little-seoul-blog]

Oh Sweet Jealousy

Pairing: Chanyeol  x Reader

Summary: Chanyeol is always jealous of you and your ex’s relationship, after a heated fight, comes some heated sex.

Genre: Angst and Smut

Word Count: 1574

Masterlist

Everyone looked at your relationship with your ex-boyfriend as weird, even your current boyfriend Chanyeol saw the friendship as a problem. You just pushed away from their opinions, your Ex Sam had been your friend since childhood, before you dated for almost a year, but you ended up cutting it off not having any romantic feelings for Sam. Both you and Sam agree to keep the friendship. Sometimes both of you forget that you even had a romantic relationship, He felt like such a big brother to you, and because of the many years you've been friends. you tend to be playful with each other and have billions of inside jokes.

Chanyeol has expressed recently that he didn't want you to hang out anymore, he didn't feel like it was just a friendship you guys had, but you fought with him telling him that in fact didn't rule your life and she wouldn't end their childhood friendship just because he was jealous. Today was different though you had been dragged to the nightclub by Sam he wanted you to be his wing girl and help him get a chick for the night, not trusting you two, Chanyeol followed you guys, watching from a far as you sipped on water as Sam downs liquid courage, you let a small laugh when Sam offered you a shot, but pushed it away, dragging him by his wrist to the dance floor.

Chanyeol was pissed, that you would even show him your beautiful smile, he watched as your body moved to the music, a guy then came on to you, you went to push him away, but Sam had already pushed the guy away, telling him to get off you.  That's when you knew the alcohol was taking over his shyness, you led him over to a girl, who seems just as he did the moment you walked into the building after a few you excused yourself and left Sam to get the girl. Not realizing you picked the spot right between a drunken guy and Chanyeol, the guy to your left ordered 6 shots and you head flew t the left to see a pretty pissed off boyfriend. He was about to speak when you started yelling at him "REALLY CHANYEOL! I CAN'T HAVE ONE NIGHT WITH A CHILDHOOD FRIEND WITHOUT YOU FOLLOWING ME!". That was the breaking point for you, you felt that Chanyeol didn't trust you, and without trust, there is no love.

You rushed out of the club, hearing two voices calling out to you, at this moment you didn't want to hear from either one of them, Sam grabbed you wrist first, spinning you around but was pushed by Chanyeol not even a few seconds after that. "She's my girlfriend, do you fucking touch her with your filthy hands" Chanyeol was glaring into his soul and you were done! "No! not anymore, find someone else you can control!" you walked away but was grabbed by Chanyeol as he began to pull you to your shared home after you were in the house, that's when the yelling started, most likely walking everyone in the area up.  

He started yelling about your lie about where you were going tonight, you had told him you were going out with your girlfriends so he wouldn't get mad. Explaining in a very loud tone about him and his Jealousy over Sam, then he yelled that you are cheating on him with Sam and that tonight proved in. You were confused, " We fucking went out tonight to set him up with someone! We didn't want you thinking that we were anything more anymore! But here you are looking me in the fucking eye, saying I cheated!" you were crying by now. "Chanyeol goes to hell" you mumbled as you turned you back.

Before you knew it, your back was on the wall and Chanyeol's mouth was on yours, you started fighting it, has he whispered a bunch of I'm sorry's, I love you's, I'm so stupid, and forgive me's. He backed away when you screamed no, it was like he jumped away. You knew Chanyeol very well, he only got jealous about Sam the rest he respected you, when you say you don't want him to do something to you, he fully respected you. "I'll stop, only if you want me to. Just please give me one last chance, a relationship with trust" he softly smiled. It made you even madder, how he can change your emotions so much. "Screw it!" running forward into Chanyeol's body, pressing your mouth against his. It took him no time to react, kissing you back deeper and harder, pushing you up on the wall, moving his lips from your's to your neck, kissing any place he could get to.

You couldn't take it anymore "Chan Bedroom" you managed to get out. In a flash he picked you up kissing you again, leading you by his memory to your shared bedroom, softly laying you on the bed. The moon shined just right through the window, lighting up your eyes, he stared at you with such love and whispered that you were beautiful, slowly moving his hands to your dress, pulling it over your head slowly. He Lightly laid you back down, kissing your body from the top of you head to the place you wanted him the most. He stared up as he took off your lace underwear, blowing over your clit. Chanyeol's fingers slowly traced the inside of your thigh as they slowly traveled up your soft skin. A shiver went down your spine as you already started moaning his name, quickly pressing fingers deep inside you and placing small licks on your clit. “you like that, babe?” his voice was deep with lust, “like the feeling of my fingers inside you, huh?” a whine left your mouth at his words and your head feel against the pillow beneath you. Chanyeol's fingers moved faster and faster as the pleasure inside you was reaching its breaking point. “cum for me, Y/N” he said before sucking on your clit, causing you to cum immediately.

But you didn't want it to be sweet, you wanted him to fuck you so hard, that you couldn't walk for the next couple of days, you wanted him to take all his jealous into this hardcore sex. You sat up and started pulling him into a deep and heavy make out. There were too many clothes, you pulled off his tight shirt, revealing that ab licking body, that was all yours, you kissed all the way up to his ear, gripping his hair as you whispered into his ear, "Fuck me Take all the dirty Jealousy, and fuck the hell out of me. Show me how much you love me more than Sam" smirking as you unclipped your bra dropping it to the floor, backing up on the bed.

You stared up at Chanyeol as he quickly removed everything left on his body. Forcing your body into the bed, placing kitty licks on your nipples, kissing up on your neck, and near your ear. "Don't tease Kitten, You won't be walking for weeks if I used all my jealousy" grinding on your woman hood, taking your breath away. Glaring up you pull his hair down whispering into his mouth for him to fuck you to the heavens, make everyone know his name. With that he slammed into you without warning, you screamed but seeing this side of him made you so wet, soon you felt like you were in heaven, he kept pulling your hair, sending shock waves down your back, moaning out his name.

Your nails quickly found his back as you began digging and dragging them down his back. "Sam could never fuck you like this could he" he whispered into your neck, you whispered out a no, but Chanyeol pulled out flipping you onto your stomach slamming back into you, "Sorry Kitten I couldn't hear you" slapping your ass, as he slams into you harder and deeper. "Fuck, no he couldn't fuck me like this, fuck Chanyeol don't stop" you screamed as he found your G-spot, he smirked as he brutally rammed into it over and over again.  You kept screaming his name, not even caring that everyone could hear you, he was making you feel so good. " Chanyeol I'm gonna--" You couldn't even finish before he leaned deeper in and whispered for you to cum for him. Those words set you off, you had never cum that much, soon being followed by Chanyeol letting out his load into you.

He pulled out of you and grabbed a cloth from the bathroom to clean both of you up, you stared up at him, he smiled and kissed your forehead. "So now every time I'm jealous, I'll be cumming to you" winking at his horrible dirty joke, you slapped his chest, then rested your head on it, you play with each other's fingers, till you heard you neighbors scream "FUCKING FINALLY! IT'S 3 AM!! NEXT TIME BE QUIET", both of you broke out laughing, falling into a deep sleep.

-Jewels

[life-of-esdie-blog]

Relationships

I struggle with relationships. Not just in the dating sense, with friends as well. I have always struggled with this specifically, but it’s getting worse. I think it started with my family. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. Especially now more than I ever have. My parents didn’t have the best relationship. They still struggle. I get it now, but when I was younger, it was hard. I was Daddy’s little girl. I looked up to him more than anything. Woke up at 5am just to watch him get ready for work. He worked a lot. And then, coached my brothers football and baseball. I was always jealous. I played soccer. He was not about it. I felt like I was always letting him down. I would have killed to play football. And wrestle. He loved being around those and everything else my brothers did. (even though my oldest brother isn’t even his child). I always did everything I could to try to impress him but, I always felt like I was failing. Then there was my mom. My mother grew up without a mom. She was the oldest of three, and had a hardcore dad. When i say my grampa was hardcore, I mean... I was actually scared of him until like, a year ago? I’m 27... She was the mom of the house for most of her life. She moved out when was 16 and moved into her fiance’s house. Yes, I said fiance... at 16. They didn’t get married, but she did get married at 19? and had a child. After living with her mom in Texas for a while. She got divorced young. Met my dad, got pregnant and got married. All by the age of 22. Her life has always been pretty difficult. I think when she had me, she was so freaking excited that she was having a girl. When I was little, she spent hours brushing my hair, putting curlers in it, painting my nails, picking out TERRIBLE outfits for me to wear. She was so excited to have a girl in her life. Which took me a long time to realize. I think she was extremely disappointed when she realized I hated all the girlie stuff. Me and my mom always had a strained relationship. With how she grew up, and how I just wanted to be another one of the boys, I think it made it really hard. And then, when she tried to be there for me... I wanted nothing to do with it. She tried to talk to me about my friends, how I felt about things... everything. I wanted to talk about nothing. She was angry. She still is. When life is a constant struggle, it makes it hard to smile sometimes. Growing up with both my parents, fighting constantly, was the worst. All of us, including my two brothers, all had anger issues. Although we were all “happy” and good kids, we did not know how to express ourselves correctly. My brothers and I didn’t really have great examples for it. My parents were always yelling. All the time. I used to go down to the basement with my brothers and cry while they tried to be there for me. It wasn’t fun. I started to resent my dad. My mom... she kinda turned to me when she needed to vent. It was not a good situation. I started to resent my dad. Like really, really resent him.

I always had friends growing up. Especially the kids around my neighborhood. We hung out almost every day. Pretty much all of them were guys. It was a freaking blast. We lived on a big dead end circle. Played football, wiffle ball, basketball, man hunt, street hockey, biked, scootered, skateboarded. It was amazing. But I struggled when I got mad. Or felt left out. I know now that it started to not be enjoyable to be around me. This ended up happening with a lot of my friendships. And didn’t stop there. I had my stupid little boyfriends in elementary and middle school. Eventually, I would start questioning myself though. Never felt like the pretty, popular girl. Always felt like I was almost the girl but never actually good enough. It continued to make me struggle and put a strain on all of my relationships. In middle school, I started to realize, I wasn’t into a lot of the things the girls in my class were. We would go to the mall together and they would want to buy thongs. I would buy them, but I hated them. HATED. Along with all the other girl things. I stopped trying to fit in so much. Started wearing converse. Listening to the music I wanted to listen to. Dressed more punk. The girls I thought were my friends started to make fun of me. I still went out of my way to try to impress people. In other ways. I bent over backwards for people.

Come high school, I was taking notes for guys in class. They would talk to me about their problems with their girlfriends. High school, kinda sucked. Had a few not so actual boyfriends. But was really mostly the kinda friend when it was convenient  for people. I had 2 best friends in my hometown. Most of my really close friends were from the camp I went to since I was 7 every summer.They weren’t always easy to see. Traveling to them kinda sucked.

Once I left high school, I went to college in Arkansas. I was so excited to start over. I was getting attention from everyone. Had so many friends. Then, I started to make bad decisions. Met a local guy from town... and he was involved in some things. Then I started dating his best friend. He was a huge drug dealer. But he gave me the most attention from anyone I’ve ever gotten. He even bought me a puppy for my birthday. I said fuck you to my family, my best friends from back home.... it was terrible. Got into drugs. Stopped going to class. Moved in with him. I was around things I never thought I could ever be involved in. We got arrested. Placed at an armed robbery. After hours of being interrogated, I finally caved. The cops tricked me to turn on him. If I didn’t think things were bad before this situation (even though I still loved him), they turned terrible. He started beating me. Cheating on me every chance he would get, disappear for days at a time. One time he even pulled his AK47 semi-automatic banana clip gun on me. Literally laying there crying while he yelled at me and threatened me. That night, his cousin told me I deserved better. He tried to hit on me. So even though he was just telling me I deserved better so he could get in my pants... I decided I had enough. Called my parents and told them to buy me a ticket home. I needed out.

This was just the beginning. I went on a downward spiral. Always picked the bad guys. Always fucked up with friends, because well, I sucked. And the worst part? Continued doing drugs. My capability to have a functioning relationship was at this point... impossible. I trusted no one. A lot of times, I subconsciously screwed it up on purpose, just so I didn’t get hurt first. I still got hurt constantly. I bent over backwards for every guy still. Got excessively angry every time I felt like I wasn’t being appreciated.

I had two boyfriends that were really good friends of mine for a while before we started dating. It was a huge mistake. I was a mess. And so were they. One was an alcoholic. One was a recovering heroin addict.

The alcoholic, I dated for 2 years. We fought all the time. Including in front of friends. At parties, in the house that we lived in with a bunch of friends, it was a hot mess. We started becoming abusive with each other. Eventually the cops got called on us by one of our neighbors. We both got arrested. Got forced to take drug and alcohol classes by the state. We both moved home, into my parents house, together. I don’t have any idea why we thought it was still a good idea to be together. We had problems. My parents even said we needed to stop drinking so much. I told him he needed to move to his parents house. Eventually the way he treated me, I just completely stopped caring. I was distant. One day, he was calling me every 5 minutes crying and I just ended it.

The heroin addict... apparently had been wanting to date me for 3 years. I had no idea. When I first met him he had been sober for a year. When we finally started hanging out a LOT more, it finally came out. I was beginning to have a crush on him when he told me. He had relapsed a while back, but I didn’t see anything wrong with it. And partied with him and our best friend all the time. We fell in love fast. He finally decided he wanted to get clean. I was buying him suboxin all the time. He was coming to my job to get it because he couldn’t keep a steady job. Especially that paid well enough to cover his drug habit. I babied the shit out of him. When his parents accused him of using drugs again, I convinced my parents he needed to move in. I sat with him and held him during all his detoxing. As this was going on, I found out my alcoholic ex, was posting pictures of me online. And my phone number with it. I was starting to get harassed. A lot. He started getting pissed. We fought constantly. He finally moved back in with his parents. One night, me and my parents got into a huge fight. Me and my mom got physical. Then my dad grabbed me and threw me against a wall. My ex’s parents loved me. They let me move in. When things were good between us, things were fucking amazing. I miss those amazing times still. When things were bad though... they were bad. I was still always there for him. He was still struggling with his drug use. One time, after we fought about pictures and my past... he went out and did a shit ton of heroin. I saw his truck at one point but not him. Waited a while... then I started looking around the house. Finally I found him in his truck. Passed out and blue in the face, he was ODing. I tried to pull him out of his truck... but he weighed 2x what I did. I ran in to get his dad and had to beg him to help me. Both of his parents were done with his drug problems. He had put them through a lot. He finally came out and helped me pull him out... then he walked back inside. I called 911 and they talked me through giving him CPR while I was panicking and crying until the ambulance got there. We started going to AA together after that. My drinking had gotten pretty bad, and him almost dying... ya know. Things were still bad, but for a bit... things were going pretty well. Then we decided to move across the country. Connecticut to Oregon. My brother and sister in law were there and they invited us to move in until we could figure things out. We thought a change of where we were would help us move forward. Instead issues got worse and worse. He got kicked out of my brothers. We still were together. He went back to rehab. Found out he was bipolar. I was getting calls saying he was seeing people in his room at all hours of the night right before rehab. Cops were getting called on the regular. I thought he was gunna kill himself, a lot. Finally after a long time, even though our shit was still pretty fucked because of all the stuff we put each other through... things started to get way better. When he was done with his program, we decided to live together again. Things were good for a bit. Then they weren’t. Eventually, he relapsed again. His friend and our roommate found black heroin smudges all over the bathroom. I had noticed some money being taken out of my account. I had 3 jobs at the time, was supporting both of us, and going to school full time. My life was crazy. I told him he had one more chance after a huge fight. It happened again. And a bunch of my stuff was missing. We were broken up and still living together. I would have to lock my doors to my room. Had a safe to lock money in. Finally one night I said to get out. Even packed his stuff. I was done. He terrorized me for a long time after. Even though he stole over 3000 dollars, including all the items he had taken to the pawn shop, everything was my fault. Yes I was crazy, and didn’t treat him the greatest all the time, with my anger issues and all, but holy shit THIS WAS CRAZY.

Since then, I’ve dated 2 guys since. Not boyfriends. The first one, I was at his beck and call. I would completely change my schedule to hang out with him. I was desperate for his attention. I got pregnant. I of course wasn’t ready for that. And he wanted nothing to do with it. I was working a lot and still going to school so I had one day to take the pill when you’re supposed to do the first pill one day, and the second one the next day. I just took them both and went with it. I was ashamed about getting an abortion. I felt terrible about it. I just assumed it worked. Later on, I went home for my brothers wedding a few months later. I was still over weight... but I wasn’t sure what the protocol was of losing the baby fat after an abortion. When I got back to Oregon, I found out I was still pregnant. 5 months pregnant. I went to the doctor and I had days to get rid of it before it was too late. I started to think that this was a sign, that I should keep the baby. But when you take the pill to get rid of a baby, it most likely will cause defects. Since I’m already diabetic, and have bad family health history... I was super scared. I went through with it. I felt like I had too. I broke down and things... well fell apart between me and him.

Now I’m seeing this guy.... we were friends for a few months. Met him through a coworker. Found out he had a heroin problem at one point and used to party a lot. I wasn’t interested in dating him at all. But we had fun when we hung out. My coworker and I had a falling out. And so did this guy and him. We started hanging out alone after that. We were still just friends. Eventually, it happened. We kissed. It turned into more. But, I kinda just thought we were friends that were hooking up. We both went home for the holidays. Things seemed really good with us. When I got back, I kinda decided I was looking for more than just hooking up. I told him at one point. Apparently, he had thought it was more the entire time. I was pretty excited. I thought I could trust him and we really could just take our time with being a couple and just enjoy it. But as of late, he’s been acting a little strange. Different in my opinion. But with all my issues from the past, I don’t know a good way to talk about it, in a healthy way. I’m starting to not trust him and taking out a little bit of my issues on him. I’m afraid, yet again I’m ruining it.

HOW DO PEOPLE FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT?! I’m struggling hard. I really like this guy. I need to figure out relationships. Although this is the healthiest one I’ve had.... maybe ever... I still want to be better. Being an adult is hard. Actually, just being a human is. I continue to keep asking myself if I’m good enough. I continue to not be able to trust people. I don’t know how to fix thing. I don’t know how to really move on from my past. How do I learn to have a functioning relationship? What’s wrong with me?!

(by the way, this isn’t just a story, this is my life... crazy I know.)

[pj-fanfics]

Murray Backstory

so murray and bianca lived in same neighborhood cute fat kids in their class only fat kids sometimes they'd get teased early on like they gunna get married and they'd laugh it off like yeah w/e bianca has a pretty backyard with her own tiny garden she invites him over to help her out lifting bags of dirt cuz she lives with her aunty and she's brittle/can’t lift much over the years, murray starts to grow a crush on her bianca is always super sweet and never malicious, she is very caring person she even had a choice to live with her rich uncle or frail aunt and picked her cuz she thought she needed the most help so one day, some bullies sneak into bianca's backyard and smash up bianca's garden and that was just tip of iceberg bianca's aunt has a nasty fall and breaks her leg they end up having to move with her uncle cuz they can't provide for her in their tiny town but she never told murray cuz she didn't want him to worry about it he knows about the garden, not the moving part so he saves up all his money and in one night, replant a good chunk of what she had planted before it just so happened to be on the night before bianca left but then murray goes to school next week wanting to hear about her new garden but her friends all oh i guess she didn’t tell u but she moved away doesn’t believe them runs to her house to find it for the most part empty, she never had a whole lot in the house, all that mattered was that garden there's a note on the gate to the garden left for him thanking him and asking him to forgive her for not saying anything about the move he ends up keeping this note throughout his life but that kicks starts his spiral of depression he gets mad first and bitter for not saying anything to him questioning if they were ever really friends but he's just a teen, he's a very sensitive boy and bianca knew that no matter how much he tried to hide it by acting quiet and cool mad at himself for never telling her how he felt though it seemed obvious to everyone else, including Bianca as he grows up, he passes by her house every day to school has to start taking the longer route to avoid it checks on the garden he planted it's withering, close to dying he goes on to school by the time he's in hs, he's gone total cool quiet commando wrestle team captain but still really smart ends up being a part of poetry club as well which gets the babes babes start asking him out he sees quite a few of them after school and they tell their friends somewhere during that time, he bumps into tippo and serenity they like hey we heard you're a decent writer, we need a songwriter for our band, u interested Murray like yeah maybe Serenity’s shitty hs band only consists of her, Tippo and Murray Murray as bass player Im sure Anit is invited to be in the band as well but they're maybe unsure of their potential Anit goes to college later on, Murray takes over drums for the songs that need it most the songs don't require them as much Murray also in charge of odd instruments kazoo, triangle, tamborine, digiridoo, rainstick Murray finishes hs but doesn't go off to college gets lots of girls for his looks and mute demeanor plenty of them prolly groupies of shitty hs band that's the name of the band "shitty high school band" has a gang motif they usually only play one gig a month 2 if they really wanna but for Murray it's a decent distraction then one of their so-called fans, a Roselia, says she's been a fan since their beginning but Murray never takes the compliments to heart he doesn’t recognize her but they fuck and later she finds him like we gotta talk, I am pregnant, you’re the dad and I wanna keep it Murray world comes crashing in first of all how did you get this number I’m half way across the countryside for this tour *consisting of 8 cities, lame ass tour but BEFORE ROSELIA CALLS HIM he's performing at a stadium in the desert think south west, arizona, new mexico fans come up to him and he does the schtick of pleasing the crowds but then he catches a glimpse of someone familiar then bolts to them it's grown up Bianca has to stand up on her tippy toes to hug around his neck she still fat but she swoons like look at u~ you got sick muscles now you could be one of the security guards murray departs from rest of gang to go off with her looking at the clear vast desert skies at night catching up all night murray debating bringing up her note he gets some closure by telling her he forgives her for leaving without a word but is still hesitant to bring up his past feelings to her now that he's been around the countryside and banging a lot of girls along the way, he feels very dirty being in front of her again and she's literally unchanged then he decides he gunna do it he gunna come clean but then she sneezes her familiar cute baby kitten sneeze when she wipes her nose, he sees a ring like ....... that's new :I oh yeah, I met him while I was going to school he didn't go to school with me he was the son of my uncle's gardener after I would come home, he'd be there helping his dad and I brought them drinks and sometimes I'd help them too uvu my uncle would scorn me, telling me it's their job to get messy but i didn't mind uou murray peeks over growing up, bianca was very poor her only pairs of shoes were a pair of old boots that seemed to last forever by the time she was in middle school, she seemed to already fit into them they were always dirty from being outside sure enough, she's wearing boots, different pairs, but same brand/style and they are worn and muddy even shows her a picture of baby Kassandra and murray like I sure would like to meet her someday Bianca hands her a card with her address like stop by any time! we'd love to have you! and your band could come too if they have the time :> the next morning, Murray gets the call being around bianca that one night has sparked something in murray he's not sure what to call it but maybe from seeing the baby picture, he maybe felt a bit of remorse again for himself if things were different maybe that could have been our baby remorse for the child that IS his like I didn't love this woman, now I have a responsibility to raise it cuz I know going in, this lady is gunna be trouble and everyone else knows it too keeps Serenity on speed dial when he has to get Leila out of there quick KALA ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A SWEET TENDER LADY WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE ROUND AND CURLY HAIRED HE'S GOT A TYPE Murray winds up having to put his visit with Bianca someday on hold

kazukoyo Gotta support his babby

ProfessorBees as this crazy lady he's currently married to is abusive and threatens him and their child every other day

Kazukoyo She got a screw or two loose

ProfessorBees working mom as a stripper Murray stay at home dad and part time repair guy or construction mom works day shift daddy has to work at night then the wife finds Murray's note and address card from Bianca burns them then takes Leila like I knew you never loved me after all I've given you she clearly drunk Murray has his phone on 911 and on speaker as soon as she out the door, leila in the car crying dont u worry sweetheart, i'll make sure he doesnt hurt us again >:0 but baby leila reaches out to daddy trying to escape mom idk how his phone would be on speaker if this is early 90's late 80's? maybe just leaves phone handle down and towards angry wife doesnt know what to do she just slammed the door he immediately tells the cops his address and reporting of kidnapping then furious dials serenity and tippo to call them whats up too then mad dash to his own car and chase after wife but then crosses a dinky bridge, and sees almost if it was in slow motion, her car hit the side of the bridge and it flips over and it bursts into flames murray reaching inside desperately, manages to find baby Leila's car seat easily slips her out as she was only half buckled in, thankfully is still alive and no open wounds is about to go back for his wife, but the car's weight and flames wear strain the car cabin's support and it crushes down Murray holding baby Leila refusing to let her go waiting on the other side of the bridge for police/firemen/paramedics to check on this small baby his ex-wife did not survive the crash but Leila only had a few bruises Murray decides he's not going back to that horrid apartment full of broken memories buys a house from his old neighborhood one with dusty old items and a little dusty garden in the backyard he starts with expanding Bianca's garden from a small gated corner to the majority of the backyard, completely covering it with dirt and plants then starts to work on remodeling the house it's small but it's just him and Leila so it doesn’t have to be huge breaks down a few walls to make it more open finds a few of Bianca's old belongings puts them in a shoebox he no longer has her address but he's got it memorized by now he'll deliver them personally when he's got stuff sorted out it's nothing of huge importance her dishes, bowls, lunchbox, maybe her kid needs something of her mother’s? Leila sees the box from time to time but doesn't know a Bianca so in her early years, makes her up like she's an imaginary friend it makes Murray's heart bleed how much little leila acted like he did when he was a kid trying to act cool/quiet but of course his face always :I :'I and continues to do so for the most part ends up going to a community garden to get tips from fellow gardeners and meets a lady who's there for a weekly course she recently had a miscarriage and is taking this class as a therapy but so far, only proceeds to depress her a bit as she knows nothing about plants and her crop is wilting Murray helps her out a lot and they seem to really hit it off younger staff at garden center ship them hardcore and Kala even invites them to wedding lmao Murray just wants close family and friends Kala brings her family plus the ones who shipped them from the start Leila super >:I for a new mommy *cling to her she mine now, dad off with you we have things to discuss like who's gunna get me more cake? >:I *grabs at wedding cake gimme murray and kala put her down lEila like nO wrONG direction Leila like what 4-5? old enough to know she getting her very own mom look ferro I got one >:I *shows off tall round mom Murray invites Bianca and family too but only Bianca shows up and gives Leila a toy too Leila like thanks stranger Bianca getting her shoebox of old treasures back and Murray telling stories of young Leila pretending to have a friend based off of u Bianca finding this all wonderful that he came back to her garden and just made it bigger and also renovated that drafty house into something much more fit for a family tl;dr bittersweet murray backstory I made up in the span of 2 hours?